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According to presumably reliable sources and under the utmost security conditions, on the, night of August 7,1937, Captain Z-RO, his young ward Jet and fellow scientists blasted off the Earth on the first manned flight to the Moon. The early, pre-space age ship, the ZX-98, was cumbersome, balky, and overloaded with equipment, oxygen and supplies. Enthusiasm was high .. .the chance of survival low.
CAPTAIN Z-Ro (1952?) Episode 24
According to presumably reliable sources and under the utmost security conditions, on the, night of August 7,1937, Captain Z-RO, his young ward Jet and fellow scientists blasted off the Earth on the first manned flight to the Moon. The early, pre-space age ship, the ZX-98, was cumbersome, balky, and overloaded with equipment, oxygen and supplies. Enthusiasm was high .. .the chance of survival low.
Not a 1980s teenage comedy as one might surmise from the title, but a peculiarly entertaining1950s effort — or at least for the first hour or so of its 90 minutes running time.
A race of “superior” aliens lands on Earth. Why do we know that they are superior? Because they keep on proclaiming it all the time. “We are the supreme race. We have the supreme weapons,” their captain repeatedly intones. That may be. The aliens have these nifty ray guns that instantly turn their targets into skeletons — I sometimes wish I had something like that when dealing with my fellow motorists, but it’s probably better that I don’t.
Anyway, they don’t seem all that advanced to me since they arrive in these really small UFOs that dig themselves into the Earth. “Just how many aliens did they manage to squeeze into that flying saucer?” I marveled watching them all disembark. In an interior shot it later turns out that their flying saucer is bigger on the inside than the outside — a bit like Doctor Who’s TARDIS I suppose. That’s pretty advanced I thought, but it still looked like a tight fit in there. They may be a superior race that has invented space travel, but they haven’t discovered comfy space travel . . .
Also, the spaceship isn’t anywhere big enough to cart back a full-grown Gargon. Now Gargons are these lobsters — and I swear: they are real life crayfish! — that grow to the size of a house within a few days, feeding on humans. The aliens leave them behind on other planets so that they won’t feed on their own populace and collect the full-sized ones for food later on. They’re going to need a bigger flying saucer, I thought watching some humans battle a giant floating silhouette of a superimposed lobster later on in the movie.
One of the aliens (named Derek!) rebels against this sort of behavior early on and flees his fellow aliens. An alien (named Thor!) is sent off in hot pursuit to kill him with one of those nifty ray guns, and the rest of the movie plays a bit like The Terminator but without the Terminator itself of course. Derek, having seen Michael Rennie do the same thing in The Day the Earth Stood Still, finds lodging in a near-by small town. (This being the kinder and gentler 1950s, he is allowed to rent the room without having to put down a deposit first.)
Not usually someone who harps on too much about bad acting, I must admit that the acting in Teenagers from Outer Space is particularly bad — and the source of most of the movie’s unintended hilarity. The giant lobster shadow is also very bad, but I really dug those ray guns leaving . .
Oh yeah, the dialogue has some real clunkers too, and I’d thought I’d include some of my favourites:
CAPTAIN: “When we return to our planet, the high court may well sentence you to torture and death for your treason.”
[Upon discovering the skeleton in Simpson's office]
SECRETARY: “I am not going to keep a job where this sort of thing goes on.”
THOR: “I will find you. I will find you. I will find you. I will find you. Ahhhhhhggg.”
CAPTAIN: “Morrow! Go below and bring up the young Gargon specimen. Now the decision depends on its reactions.”
DEREK: “Wait, Captain. I have found evidence of intelligent beings on this planet!”
THOR: “Of what concern of foreign beings?”
DEREK: “Of none to you, Thor! Just as you were so unconcerned when you destroyed this small creature, so bravely!”
THOR: “It was no more than an insect.”
DEREK: “But it had life. And that life you had to take to satisfy your endless hunger for killing.”
DEREK: “You make me angry. But I like you very much. FIVE STARS!
Teenagers From Outer Space (1959)
This is the ultimate Cartoon-overkill big government intrusion into the minds of children media blitz of all-time. This aired on ABC, CBS and NBC simultaneously, uninterrupted and it never aired again. Yes, these creatures realized that kids were laughing at them.
This was a big part of Nancy Reagan's JUST SAY NO (except to the pharmaceutical companies that pumped a billion dollars into her crusade.) A government propaganda a rendezvous with all the stars from your childhood.
This was meant to be an anti-drug movie to show the kids the pretended dangers of drugs (marijuana, alcohol and so on). If you wondered where the initiators got all the licenses from, it was the fact that the creep behind this was married to the creep in the oval office. The prick's even in the intro.
Remember: If the Bush family are against it then drugs are your friends. What a toilet of a family; they tried mess up every popular kids show in one fell swoop and this thing is best known as a VHS those kids grew up getting stoned to. There is nothing that clan can get right.
Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue (1990)
I remember several years ago getting stoned off the devil weed and watching this with friend accompaniment and making laugh.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I actually remember this when it came out on TV, we later watched it in elementary school! Even then I liked the mix of cartoon characters and drugs.
Cheers and happy day!