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Monday, February 23, 2009

Freak of the Week: Spider Baby and Madly Homoerotic Wolf

Spider Baby, or the Maddest Story Ever Told
a.k.a. Spider Baby/Cannibal Orgy, or the Maddest Story Ever Told/The Liver Eaters (1964/1968) (it took four years to get released)
The house-full-of-crazies movie is among the most heavily trodden plots of territory in the horror genre, having first been explored at least as early as the mid-1920’s. In few such films have the crazies ever been crazier than those in Spider Baby, or the Maddest Story Ever Told, however; not since The Corpse Vanishes had the world seen anything truly comparable. It’s only to be expected that this movie would be something special, of course, for writer/director Jack Hill would go on to an illustrious (if all too brief) career in exploitation cinema. Spider Baby was something of a false start for Hill, as the producers’ money troubles would cause it to languish unseen for a good four years, but have it right now. BTW: Ever wonder where Rob Zombie "borrowed" House of a Thousand Corpses From? Now you'll know.

But first off a couple of odd ball Czech cartoons from the turn of the century:

And now... SPIDER BABY (1964/1968)

Super Secret Freak film bonus, titled (All names and the tittle are in anagram form) Madly Homoerotic Wolf

It is a a 1982 comedy film compiling clips from various B movies. Written by Salad Neon and directed by (all last names are anagrams) Lam Cool Elm and Warden Slot, the film features wraparound segments and narration by several famous comedians, including Yard Yak Don, Cad Johnny, Dear Dan Girl, and Can Conch He'd He. Sections of Madly homoerotic wolf focus on gorilla pictures, anti-marijuana films and the works of Edward D. Wood, Jr. If you are between 30 and 50, love funky old monster films than this is the one for you. It's not only about bad movies, it is a bad movie itself. Bad in an unintentionally, which should have been intentionally funny way. Simply the best.

Next week the classic Vincent Price Film, The Last Man on Earth, a 1964 Italian horror/science fiction film based upon the Richard Matheson novel I Am Legend. The film was directed by Ubaldo Ragona and Sidney Salkow, and starred Vincent Price.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Tonights features Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, a puppet show and Orson Wells on cold Reading and a Milly Moo Cow cartoon


SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964) and Roger Corman's classic A BUCKET OF BLOOD (1959)
Read More About Santa Claus Conquers The Martians HERE

Santa Claus has safely returned to Earth after being kidnapped by Martians. Pia Zadora (eight years old) plays the part of one of the Martian children in this exciting tale of Santa against the universe...or at least, Mars.

But first check out this short of Orson Wells on Cold Reading mixed with a USA Nightflight-like jumble of mess and mirth. Included are a 8 minute Mystery Freak of the week: In this slender short from 1948, Santa asks a kid what he wants for Christmas and you won’t believe what he wants and gets. Then the Bonus Cartoon: Molly Moo Cow and the Indians. Heading west, Molly saves an Indian who has fallen in a river. She then saves her two duck friends who an Indian brave is determined to have for dinner. The point here seems to be that a great Indian warrior can easily be outsmarted and nearly beaten to death by a really dumb, clumsy cow. Pure wobbly genius. And of course our mystery musical guest.

And now, our feature presentation in all of its pixelated granulating glory.


Bonus! Who here remembers that Super Sugar Crisp's "Sugar Bear was basically a doped out sucrose junkie who stole his cereal from a witch? Check this out:

Now that you have been subjected to one the worst low budget film of all time, it is only fair that as a bonus, you get to see one of Roger Corman’s best:


Read more about A Bucket of Blood HERE

First off we have ads that show how skillful we were at ripping off kids in the 1950s. First up there is Captain Midnight who sells you a ring and to decodes messages that are amazingly unimportant (not as bad as when he talked kids into buying candy bars. Next up Captain Video assures you that if you are a nerd, and buy Ovaltine and pluck off a patch of his crappy logo you will never be picked on by a bully again, because bullies apparently fear stickers.) And then there is a hysterical ad for Bobbi Perm pins. Next for fun we have a Daffy (Duck) and the Dinosaur treat and Falling Hare cartoon where Bugs Bunny runs afoul of a gremlin. And then there is a hysterical for Bobbi Perm pins.


I hoped you enjoyed our maiden voyage and will be back next week to see one of the sources Rob Zombie pillaged for the dismal HOUSE OF A THOUSAND CORPSES…

Spider Baby(1968)