TONIGHT'S DOUBLE FREAK FEATURE:
Read More About Santa Claus Conquers The Martians HERE
Santa Claus has safely returned to Earth after being kidnapped by Martians. Pia Zadora (eight years old) plays the part of one of the Martian children in this exciting tale of Santa against the universe...or at least, Mars.
But first check out this short of Orson Wells on Cold Reading mixed with a USA Nightflight-like jumble of mess and mirth. Included are a 8 minute Mystery Freak of the week: In this slender short from 1948, Santa asks a kid what he wants for Christmas and you won’t believe what he wants and gets. Then the Bonus Cartoon: Molly Moo Cow and the Indians. Heading west, Molly saves an Indian who has fallen in a river. She then saves her two duck friends who an Indian brave is determined to have for dinner. The point here seems to be that a great Indian warrior can easily be outsmarted and nearly beaten to death by a really dumb, clumsy cow. Pure wobbly genius. And of course our mystery musical guest.
And now, our feature presentation in all of its pixelated granulating glory.
SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS
Bonus! Who here remembers that Super Sugar Crisp's "Sugar Bear was basically a doped out sucrose junkie who stole his cereal from a witch? Check this out:
Now that you have been subjected to one the worst low budget film of all time, it is only fair that as a bonus, you get to see one of Roger Corman’s best:
A BUCKET OF BLOOD
Read more about A Bucket of Blood HERE
First off we have ads that show how skillful we were at ripping off kids in the 1950s. First up there is Captain Midnight who sells you a ring and to decodes messages that are amazingly unimportant (not as bad as when he talked kids into buying candy bars. Next up Captain Video assures you that if you are a nerd, and buy Ovaltine and pluck off a patch of his crappy logo you will never be picked on by a bully again, because bullies apparently fear stickers.) And then there is a hysterical ad for Bobbi Perm pins. Next for fun we have a Daffy (Duck) and the Dinosaur treat and Falling Hare cartoon where Bugs Bunny runs afoul of a gremlin. And then there is a hysterical for Bobbi Perm pins.
Watch A BUCKET OF BLOOD
I hoped you enjoyed our maiden voyage and will be back next week to see one of the sources Rob Zombie pillaged for the dismal HOUSE OF A THOUSAND CORPSES…